While reading the first few lines of her first book “Sullivans Island” I knew two things: one, I would read anything and everything by Dorothea Benton Frank, and two, I just had a new best friend. No, she had no idea who I was, but her talent for storytelling made me feel that she would be the kind of friend I’d want. She was immediately my “Susan” , my “Jeannine,” or a few other forever girlfriends I had been able to call the best of the best of my friends the last 35 years. Those of us who devour the writings of our favorite authors like a plate of linguini know that we get a glimpse of their personalities in their writings. Even more so, we get a piece of their souls. Every word of a writer is a gift which is one that we can open over and over again every time we read their written words. As I sat at her memorial service at Grace Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC on a very warm September day a few weeks ago, my mind was still in shock and in deep grief for her family, her friends, and her readers. The bagpipes played “Amazing Grace” and the tears finally flowed since hearing of Dorothea’s (Dottie) sudden passing. What was it about her and her writings that made this so personal? I glanced at her beautiful family dabbing their eyes and closed mine as I reviewed my own life’s past 20 plus years.
My family and I moved from Minneapolis, MN to Greenville, SC in 1996. The move was extreme as far as mileage, climate and cultural environment. I quickly embraced the uniqueness of SC. We lived in “the Upstate.” The area closer to the coast is referred to “the Lowcountry.” We often visited the Lowcountry and enjoyed its uniqueness. After several years of spending much time in Charleston and falling in love with its magic, I proclaimed it to be by own city some day. It would be my retirement home.
I continued to read everything Dot Frank wrote and fall more in love with tall oaks with Spanish moss gloriously hanging from their branches. I talked to Gullah women as they showed me how to weave sweet grass baskets. I lunched and dined the same places that Dot did while growing up on Sullivans Island as well as other places in the heart of Charleston. I’ll never forget my first time in Dunleavy’s Pub on Sullivans Island while reading that this was the establishment that the main characters hung out in the novel I was devouring. I became addicted to shrimp and grits, she-crab soup, and pralines. The salty air and pluff mud would totally relax me… it felt like home after several years of frequent visits.
By the time Dot wrote her third novel I got to personally meet her in a local book store at a book signing. Before the signing she spoke about how she split her time between New York and her home on Sullivans Island. Her writing career began at age 40 and immediate literary fame was granted by landing her on the New York best seller list. She loved telling the story about asking her husband Peter, an investment banker, to borrow money to buy her mother’s home, “Vagabond Villa” on Sullivans Island. Her sister and three brothers were bent on selling her beloved childhood home after her mother’s death. Peter refused saying no way he wanted to sit on the porch and listen to her relatives tell the same stories over and over! She told him she would write a book and sell a million copies! And that she did, more than a million.
The next year I was fortunate to be a part of a literary event on Daniel Island, SC. I ended up sitting by one of Dot’s closest high school friends. I shared time with both ladies after the event and found myself listening to Dottie Frank’s fast paced stories of hilarity and sass. This lady wasn’t just a talented storyteller, she was a rare jewel. She knee slapped, hugged and made me feel like I was her best girlfriend while sharing her memories. I left that event a bigger fan than ever. I privately shared my dream of becoming an author with her and some of my life story. I laughed and told her she should use some of the material for a novel. “Oh no, darling, she exclaimed, you’re going to write that yourself. We’ll celebrate at your favorite food and beverage establishment in Chal’ston when it’s released.”
Dot had a Fanfest in April of 2019 in that glorious city of Charleston. It drew adoring fans from all over the country and beyond. What a treat to celebrate her soon to be released “Queen Bee.” She had achieved her twentieth novel and was ready to celebrate in Lowcountry style with those she loved the most, her family (which included her first grandchild, “Teddy Spaghetti),” perhaps gained his name partially because his father is a chef, and her devout readers. By this time I had finally achieved my dream of living in Charleston and would no doubt be at every event. After all, it was she who encouraged me to follow my dream to write. She thought she was late to the party by starting her writing career in her forties; I was in my sixties! I watched her throw her head back in a roar of laughter while mingling with her readers. She listened to each person who spoke to her and I watched that “Dot Magic” between her and every individual. I heard readers share their own stories of life’s hurdles; heartbreak and divorce, ill health and abandonment, loss of loved ones and prodigal children. They also shared their highest points in life, all the while laughing and hugging and occasionally a tear or two. I watched Dot’s eyes twinkle brightly and could almost read her mind…. she was fulfilled. She had made such a difference in so many lives with her books. She loved her faith, family, and readers. Words were her gift as well as her grit, grace and gregariousness to the point of sharing her soul and truly making one feel she was the best of the best of friends. Going one step further, she truly did care about each of her readers and expressed her endearing thankfulness for each one.
The last time I saw Dot was at a book signing in Mt. Pleasant, SC last May. I asked if she had recovered from Fanfest and it’s festivities including a dinner cruise, speaking engagements, scrumptious Lowcountry dining, cocktail parties (lots of them), and a luncheon in her own Sullivan Island home for fans to experience being up close and personal with her. She wanted to share the Lowcountry magic of that salty air and pluff mud. She also had just finished a lengthy book tour. She said she went home and slept a day and night straight through. The photographer snapped our picture just as she did with every single person at the book signing. “Eh, no hairy big deal,” she said as she waved off her exhaustion like a bad dream.
A month went by when many of her fans learned she was battling a serious illness. Just a few weeks later she was gone. And just like that, that bright light of a best of a best friend was gone. Her family was devastated. Her readers were stunned and could not even think of saying goodbye to more written words from their dear friend.
As I left the church of the most glorious celebrations of life I had ever witnessed, I stopped to talk to her husband, Peter. He remarked how he thought Dottie had pushed through the last several months to continue to give unselfishly to her family and friends. She had to have been sick without stopping so much as to rest. “God bless you,” was all I could muster to say. “I’m going to need it,” answered Peter.
Very few knew she had written a children’s book with her daughter, Victoria, “Teddy Spaghetti.” She had also begun a new novel, “Reunion Beach,” both to be released in the Spring of 2020. I am so elated I have new written words from my “best friend” to look forward to reading! Susan, Jeannine and a few other of my girlfriends and I, (God willing,) will continue our life journeys leaning on each other through laughter and love, grit and grace. And Dottie, you will always be my “bestie.” Thank you for sharing your gift of words. But more importantly, thank you for your encouragement and “friendship” in the only way a “bestie” can do……thank you for believing in me.
gregariousgrace 